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Perspective

We ate lunch with Pappa today. Maddy liked the button on his hat.
Maddy is learning to pick up food, put it in her mouth, chew it, and swallow it. She loves these puffs--I think just because she gets to feed herself. These pictures are backwards but this is her chewing the puff after she put it in her mouth.
Putting the puff in her mouth. Yum! Yum!
Picking the puff up. A little harder to do with a toy in your hand.
Something new. Maddy started holding her own bottle some. She has been putting her hands on her bottle and helping hold it for quite a while but she just now got big enough to manage the bottle on her own. It is nice because it frees up more of my time, but the downside is that it takes her an EXTREMELY long time to finish a bottle on her own.

I have been thinking about perspective lately. When I was little and I'd get upset about having to try to do something new or something hard or something I didn't want to do, my dad would say, "Now cain't never could do anything." (Yes, I know how to spell can't but this is how my dad pronounced the word and it's very important to the story.) Puzzled, I would start feeling a little sorry for Cain't (whom I had a vague inkling might be the Cain of the Cain and Abel story but was never exactly able to come to a decisive conclusion about his identity) and feel glad that I was not as dumb and inept as he was. I might be having trouble but at least I wasn't a complete klutz like Cain't who my dad seemed to have no respect for. Many years later I realized that what my dad was trying to say was that if I started out by saying that I couldn't do something then I couldn't do it, not because I was unable to but because my perspective was wrong. Suddenly I realized that even though Cain't didn't exist, in a strange way he did because if I said I couldn't do something then I was Cain't. What I needed to do to accomplish something hard or distasteful was a better attitude that would at least allow me to give it a shot.
Many years later, my daughter is teaching me to look at things from a new perspective as well. When we went to the developmental pediatrician in August she said that because of how tight Maddy's hips were she wouldn't be able to sit up. For several weeks I felt very sad about this and never even attempted to help Maddy try to sit. I had a case of the cain'ts. Then one day it finally occurred to me by the grace of God to think, "Does Maddy know her hips are tight? Does Maddy know that she "can't" sit up?" I had to answer no. Maddy did not know any of this or believe any of this and it was unfair of me to listen to the pediatrician's ideas and never give her the chance to try. So we started working on sitting. No it didn't happen overnight, but at this appointment with the developmental pediatrician Maddy was sitting on her own. For this to happen I had to change my perspective to Maddy's and understand that "cain't never could do anything."
On a more general basis, as I was running the other day and wondering if Maddy would ever be able to be in a race and feeling sad that it would probably be very hard for her if even possible, I suddenly thought about the people who were in the wheelchair division of the White Rock. Apparently they didn't know that they couldn't do a half marathon or marathon. Yes, most people complete those running and I completed a half marathon on my feet but put me in a wheelchair and ask me to go 13 or 26 miles with my arms and I'm not even making it a mile. That being the case you might say I'm the one with the handicap.
I am very thankful for the glimpses that God gives me of perspective through another persons eyes. My life would not be as rich without that. I am sure all of you have people in your lives who have given you a glimpse from a different perspective and I encourage you to keep your eyes open for a glimpse through another's eyes this week. Also if you have any stories about a time you've seen something through different eyes I would really love to hear about it. Okay now I'm off because I am starting to sound like the lady on our Christian radio station that we call "Christian Delilah". I have no idea what her real name is but if you have ever heard the evening program with Delilah on secular radio it is pretty much like that.

Comments

Chrissy Cross said…
I think it is amazing that Madi can feed herself and hold her bottle, she is doing great, in my opinion. I don't think that Cooper could hold his bottle at 9 months, and that is exactly when Cooper and Kenndall started feeding themselves.
Also, just so you know, you are part of my inspiration, if I ever have a special needs child, I would look to your example of dependence on God and never getting down about things. I loved your blog today!
bee said…
I have been encouraged and inspired by you. Thanks for these amazing thoughts.
Zach and Alyson said…
thanks for you heart Holly.... Maddy not only teaches her mama lots of things, but she teaches me. She is a true miracle and a testament of God's work. I'm proud to say that I know her and that she will never be a cain't.
Brandon said…
I think it was Henry Ford that said, "If you think you can do something you are right. I you think you can't do something, you are still right."

That is what is so wonderful about children, they don't have any preconceived notions of what they can and can't do. Made me think of ours, they don't know anything about being picky eaters so they will eat anything. Including peanut shells as I have demonstrated for some folks....

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