Crime and Punishment?

Well, Maddy is just getting to that age where she is getting pretty challenging behavior wise. I'm not saying she is a bad kid, but most of the time she is a nightmare to discipline. Her number one strategy to get out of trouble is to make you start laughing while she is getting in trouble, and, unfortunately, she is excellent at this.
Her other strategy that she has recently developed is explaining she is not really doing what she is getting in trouble for doing. Example: " Maddy stop fussing." "No. I not fussing. I just gotta cry."

Hmmmmm.

For awhile we were using time outs when she wasn't listening or obeying. I'd put her in our room for about two minutes to think about what she did. She hated being in there by herself--until she discovered Mommy's underwear drawer. Sigh.......
I've also been trying consequences that are a direct result of her behavior. The difficult part about this is that I'm not sure her memory is quite long enough to get the association yet. Right after we got back from Christmas vacation I took her to the library to get some movies. She was in a very grumpy mood and had a breakdown because I had to put her down to get my wallet out and pay a library fine. (I always end up with a fine over vacations because I need reading material and then I never remember when the books are due. I always end up renewing online but not til I've forgotten it for a few days and wracked up a large enough fine that they won't let me check out or do anything else until I pay it. Hmmm, maybe I just figured out where Maddy got her lack of changing irresponsible patterns of behavior despite being faced with direct consequences of that behavior.) I told her she needed to stop crying and that if she couldn't have a good attitude we'd go home without any movies. She straightened up for a bit, but then had a breakdown again when I put her down to get out my library card, so we left the library without the movies she'd picked out. She cried about it all the way home and then kept mentioning for the rest of the day how she wasn't supposed to cry in the library (close to what she was supposed to learn, but not exactly). We haven't been able to make it back to the library since then so I will be curious to see if she remembers that incident and the consequences or if she's completely forgotten about it because it's been too long.
As she continues to grow and develop in opinions, personality, and independence, I cringe more and more at the inadequacy I feel in how to discipline her and guide her from day to day. Sometimes I end the day feeling like I've ruined her for good. At these times all I can do is say a little prayer I've come to say quite often in the last few months:

Lord, sometimes I don't know why you chose me to parent this child. I make so many mistakes and I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time. Please give me the wisdom to do the best I can and please take over and teach Maddy and help her to learn how to follow you and how to live up to her full potential despite all the things I forget to do, don't know how to do, and all the times I mess up.

 Praying for my kid. Probably the best parenting decision I've made all day.