Ah yes. The peaceful, pastoral scene of satisfied Bovines roaming the range, picturesquely grazing. This picture is a lie.
At 4:12 p.m. on Wednesday, November 15th, all hell broke lose as Cowey spotted a weed across the electric fence that looked tasty. He poked his head through the electric fence, and much to his surprise, nothing happened. He reached for the weed. Scrumptious. He took another tentative step and slipped between the dead wires of the useless fence. Spotty, seeing Cowey enjoying such tasty delights, quickly stuck his head between the fence wires and followed his friend out to compete for the tasty weed. Blackie, probably having had more bad experiences that his friends with the electric wire being a curious sort of cow, was hesitant to pass through the fence. So instead of stepping through, he lept it with the grace of an elephant, snapping the top wire in two. Soon a desperate human arrived with tasty cattle cubes to lure the hapless animals back into containment. Spotty and Blackie could not resist the cubes and quickly slid back through the wire the desperate human held high above their heads so that they could come back in the pen. Cowey wanted the cubes but he also wanted tasty weeds and refuse to fall for this amateur trick. The luckless human left to try to quickly repair the snapped wire and check the fence battery. Before the wire was even spliced, Spotty crept out again and watched the human from behind. Blackie wondered down to the spot where he had previously jumped the fence, gave a loud bellow to his friends, broke through the fence again and took off with his buddies for greener pastures. Unbeknownst to the human, a gate was down on the south side of the pasture. The human, now joined by her husband, rode four wheelers and drove trucks around the pasture and perimeter of the property until 9 p.m. looking for the vanished cows. Blackie, Spotty and Cowey slunk around in the vicinity of Triple B road all evening, staying well camouflaged in the moonless night. Spotty gave one human a mild heart attack as she was entering her home, saw his white face and thought he was a bear, until she realized he was a cow. Having had a similar heart attack seeing a human on the road, Spotty took off to find a place where humans did not exist. Eventually, the three amigos found themselves in a quite yard about a half mile from their original home. They grazed and lazed all morning. Around 12:30, another human drove up in a maroon SUV and creepily watched them from the road. The cows decided to get up and move a bit, but were hesitant to leave such a nice place. Suddenly, those dang cow pellets came in to play again. Blackie led the way after the delicious bucket of cow cocaine and the cows found themselves in jail. Jail was not so bad. It at least had water and pellets and they were hungry and thirsty. Well, it wasn't so bad until several humans showed up with a small container and a whip. The humans seemed to want them to go into the strange contraption blocking the gate and freedom. The cows were too smart for that! Time and again, they bolted, just as the humans had almost pushed them into the small, strange compartment. Finally Spotty had enough. He stuck his head through a crack in the jail wall and kicked the flimsy barrier to pieces, bolted through the hole and did his best to let his friends do the same. Blackie and Cowey, did their best, but the devil humans blocked them and chased them back. The humans blocked the hole with a strong metal barrier and began to persecute them with the whip again, driving them toward the strange compartment. Blackie and Cowey suddenly found another barrier close behind them and had no choice but to move forward into the trailer where the humans quickly slammed a door behind them. The cows protested, stomping and shoving but it was no use. They were locked in tight without Spotty.
It was now dark. The strange compartment was moving beneath them. Before long they found that the door was opening and they were back to their familiar watering tank and feed bucket. The humans also offered them an new treat. Tasty grass that was already cut and easy to chew. The gorged on the treat and settled down for the night.
Spotty, now being on his own, had no interest in wandering around any longer. A real bear might come get him. Or another awful human! He just wanted to go home and find his brothers. He finally found his way back to the pasture some time late in the night, had a drink of water and sampled some of the new treat. Then he settled down to sleep with his brothers.
In the morning, as light broke, the human sat in the house at the dining table thinking about Spotty. She looked out at the cows lying in the pasture, grateful that at least the two were there, but worrying how she was going to get the third prodigal home. Suddenly a cow stood up and stretched. The human did a double take and almost spewed her coffee all over the window. A white faced cow turned his head and looked her straight in the eye.
The cows were very please with themselves. They had had an adventure, eaten some tasty variety of weed not found in their own pasture, and gotten lots of pellets and treats out of the deal. They would rest and then maybe try it again later in the day. Imagine their surprise when they found out that the humans had arranged for them to go to cow jail on their own property.
Very surprised indeed! But they'd been to jail before and it wasn't so bad. And the humans kept giving them tasty treats. They no longer had to work for their food. And maybe, just maybe they'd escape again one day and go on another excellent adventure.
Maybe.
THE END
At 4:12 p.m. on Wednesday, November 15th, all hell broke lose as Cowey spotted a weed across the electric fence that looked tasty. He poked his head through the electric fence, and much to his surprise, nothing happened. He reached for the weed. Scrumptious. He took another tentative step and slipped between the dead wires of the useless fence. Spotty, seeing Cowey enjoying such tasty delights, quickly stuck his head between the fence wires and followed his friend out to compete for the tasty weed. Blackie, probably having had more bad experiences that his friends with the electric wire being a curious sort of cow, was hesitant to pass through the fence. So instead of stepping through, he lept it with the grace of an elephant, snapping the top wire in two. Soon a desperate human arrived with tasty cattle cubes to lure the hapless animals back into containment. Spotty and Blackie could not resist the cubes and quickly slid back through the wire the desperate human held high above their heads so that they could come back in the pen. Cowey wanted the cubes but he also wanted tasty weeds and refuse to fall for this amateur trick. The luckless human left to try to quickly repair the snapped wire and check the fence battery. Before the wire was even spliced, Spotty crept out again and watched the human from behind. Blackie wondered down to the spot where he had previously jumped the fence, gave a loud bellow to his friends, broke through the fence again and took off with his buddies for greener pastures. Unbeknownst to the human, a gate was down on the south side of the pasture. The human, now joined by her husband, rode four wheelers and drove trucks around the pasture and perimeter of the property until 9 p.m. looking for the vanished cows. Blackie, Spotty and Cowey slunk around in the vicinity of Triple B road all evening, staying well camouflaged in the moonless night. Spotty gave one human a mild heart attack as she was entering her home, saw his white face and thought he was a bear, until she realized he was a cow. Having had a similar heart attack seeing a human on the road, Spotty took off to find a place where humans did not exist. Eventually, the three amigos found themselves in a quite yard about a half mile from their original home. They grazed and lazed all morning. Around 12:30, another human drove up in a maroon SUV and creepily watched them from the road. The cows decided to get up and move a bit, but were hesitant to leave such a nice place. Suddenly, those dang cow pellets came in to play again. Blackie led the way after the delicious bucket of cow cocaine and the cows found themselves in jail. Jail was not so bad. It at least had water and pellets and they were hungry and thirsty. Well, it wasn't so bad until several humans showed up with a small container and a whip. The humans seemed to want them to go into the strange contraption blocking the gate and freedom. The cows were too smart for that! Time and again, they bolted, just as the humans had almost pushed them into the small, strange compartment. Finally Spotty had enough. He stuck his head through a crack in the jail wall and kicked the flimsy barrier to pieces, bolted through the hole and did his best to let his friends do the same. Blackie and Cowey, did their best, but the devil humans blocked them and chased them back. The humans blocked the hole with a strong metal barrier and began to persecute them with the whip again, driving them toward the strange compartment. Blackie and Cowey suddenly found another barrier close behind them and had no choice but to move forward into the trailer where the humans quickly slammed a door behind them. The cows protested, stomping and shoving but it was no use. They were locked in tight without Spotty.
It was now dark. The strange compartment was moving beneath them. Before long they found that the door was opening and they were back to their familiar watering tank and feed bucket. The humans also offered them an new treat. Tasty grass that was already cut and easy to chew. The gorged on the treat and settled down for the night.
Spotty, now being on his own, had no interest in wandering around any longer. A real bear might come get him. Or another awful human! He just wanted to go home and find his brothers. He finally found his way back to the pasture some time late in the night, had a drink of water and sampled some of the new treat. Then he settled down to sleep with his brothers.
In the morning, as light broke, the human sat in the house at the dining table thinking about Spotty. She looked out at the cows lying in the pasture, grateful that at least the two were there, but worrying how she was going to get the third prodigal home. Suddenly a cow stood up and stretched. The human did a double take and almost spewed her coffee all over the window. A white faced cow turned his head and looked her straight in the eye.
The cows were very please with themselves. They had had an adventure, eaten some tasty variety of weed not found in their own pasture, and gotten lots of pellets and treats out of the deal. They would rest and then maybe try it again later in the day. Imagine their surprise when they found out that the humans had arranged for them to go to cow jail on their own property.
Very surprised indeed! But they'd been to jail before and it wasn't so bad. And the humans kept giving them tasty treats. They no longer had to work for their food. And maybe, just maybe they'd escape again one day and go on another excellent adventure.
Maybe.
THE END
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