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Change and Remembering


I always stop and remember this day as the day that completely changed my life. No one but me remembers now, but this is the day that we had Maddy's 20 week sonogram. This day is not sad to me anymore; it is just an important day to remember. On that day I was not ready for my life to change so dramatically. I didn't want to have to be challenged or deal with the difficult circumstances that we were dealing with. I just wanted out...but there was no way out. Looking back I have to laugh at myself. There was no way to see it on that side, but God had an amazing plan for our family. He had a plan to give us more joy and more understanding of who he is. Many of the times in the last five years have not been easy, but they have been worth it. We would not trade Maddy for anything and love every part of who she is, even when sometimes part of who she is drives us crazy, like doing the exact opposite of what the photographers tell her to do when trying to take her picture (event from yesterday, more on that later).
This day is quite different this year since we are expecting another baby in 10 weeks. I find myself apprehensive of change again. How is this new baby going to fit into our family? It seems like a silly worry, but I worry about my ability to parent a child who doesn't have special needs. I don't know how to do it! I worry about the impact that a new person in the family will have on relationships, time, money. The usual worries; the usual fear of change. Yet, looking back on how God did such amazing things in our lives with Maddy, I shouldn't be fearing or dreading change. I should be anticipating change and looking for God's best in this change for our family, even if I don't see it on this side.

Comments

Brandon E. said…
Don't worry. I've finally realized parents have no idea what they are doing. After thousands of years of civilization, raising children is still just a big experiment.

Looking forward to a quick visit sometime next week!
November 18, 2013 at 8:36 PM
bee said…
LOL! Brandon. You have got that totally right. Thank goodness we have only one day at a time to live. God does hold the future in his hands. It is all taken care of. Maddy we love you and cannot thank God enough that he brought you into our lives.
November 19, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Ms. Embry said…
Maddy's journey from that 20 week sonogram until now is truly an amazing testimony to how faithful God is and how His ways and thoughts and plans are so much better than anything that we dream up or that we think we want or can handle. I personally have learned a lot about just trusting Him and also about how much He can and will do in answer to prayer just from watching Maddy's story unfold and watching how you and Aaron have responded over these past five years. All three of you are amazing and I'm sure Fletcher #4 will be just as awesome!!
November 20, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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