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Last One!

Today was my last OB appointment before delivery. I cannot say that I am sad. Not much news from today. He decided not to check my cervix since he was already comfortable that I was in a place where the induction would be successful. Fine by me. I mean, I am kind of curious if anything more has happened, but not curious enough that I'm going to tell him to check me anyway if he says he doesn't have to. The NST went fine for Maddy. She is a little mover and shaker. She is sitting down low. :) So I will go in at 5:00 a.m on Monday. They will start pitocin and then break my water once labor progresses for a little while. I'm sure most of you don't even want or care to know but for those who do, that is the procedure.
Recently I have been thinking of things that I am going to enjoy about not being pregnant anymore. Obviously meeting my daughter for the first time is a big one on the list, but it is also clouded by the uncertainty of her health and development and what kind of decisions we'll be making after her birth. This is a very, very sad thing for me to have to say. I feel sad that I can't just be completely and happy that she will be here, but that is not reality for me right now. The past few days I have been praying that God will allow us to have joy at this birth. Joy at Maddy's birth is something that I've had a really hard time believing in--not because I don't want to see her or hold her, but just because there is so much doubt and uncertainty surrounding everything and because I am afraid to expect too much. I want to ask all of you to pray for us too that God will give us some joy at her birth.
Anyway...other things I'm looking forward to are:

1. Being able to bend over enough to paint my toenails and shave my legs. :)
2. Wearing "normal" clothes again. Lots of great people let me borrow or bought me maternity clothes that were very cute, but I'm just tired of wearing them. I am kind of afraid after months of wearing pants that don't have a zipper or buttons that I will be going around with my fly open all the time when I start wearing normal pants again.
3. Running!! I know this won't happen for a little bit, but I am so ready to go on a jog again.
4. Sleeping on my stomach when I get the chance to sleep. I am a stomach sleeper and I am so ready to get back to sleeping in my normal, most comfortable position.
5. Not having 5,000 pillows between me and Aaron every night.
6. A haircut. I haven't had a haircut since I knew I was pregnant. No reason really except too lazy to go and now that she's so close to being here I am not going to mess with it until later.
7. Not having to go to the bathroom ALL THE TIME.
8. Wearing heels once in a while if I want to.
9. Being able to sit or stand in one position for longer that 5 minutes without my legs falling asleep or hurting.
10. Being able to do things like clean the shower well and vacuum the stairs. Although I have to say I have enjoyed having an excuse to pass the stair vacuuming off to Aaron for a few weeks. :)

I'll try to get a picture up soon of me as big as I'm gonna get. I think I have gained 23 lbs over the pregnancy--just about what my doctor recommended so I'm happy. Hopefully Maddy is packing on the weight this week.

Comments

Holly Scott DeGroot said…
hol-we will absolutely be praying for extreme joy at Maddy's birth!
also, thnx for making me laugh with ur list of things ur ready to be able to do! heehee
March 24, 2009 at 12:14 PM
Chrissy Cross said…
You will also be able to breathe again!! That was the best feeling. I know that you will be joyous when you see Maddy, one look in her beautiful face and you will realize that you have never loved anyone so much. I cannot wait to see pictures. I will pray for your induction and that everything goes smoothly.
March 24, 2009 at 9:48 PM
Jessica said…
I think it would be abnormal if you didn't feel those things. You have definitely had a much more difficult pregancy than the average. And wow, even if it hadn't been difficult, i would hate not being able to shave my legs! I'll be praying so much for you guys too. Really enjoyed lunch on Sunday!
March 24, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Brittany said…
hilarious wish list. We'll be praying fervently for you and Aaron's joy for Maddy's birth. We're so excited for you guys! So close! We've also prayed every night that you guys will be wonderful parents to her. I'm sure you will. In the meantime, I shall dedicate all of my running this week to you!
March 25, 2009 at 1:38 PM
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