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Maddy is a week old today! Yesterday she made big steps in eating. At her 8 o'clock feeding she was able to take half her meal from the bottle. She took almost half from a bottle at her 5 o'clock and she nursed three times for a short period of time. I know she ate some but not sure exactly how much she got. This is a huge step for her. She is learning and working hard. On Friday she got some little rolls in her hands to try to begin the process of getting those fists to open up. She looks so cute and I am really excited that we get to start doing something for her so soon. Last night she had her first really fussy time that we've seen. Actually, only I saw it because Aaron wasn't there yet. He had gone to pick up a truck a guy from DBU is generously lending us for a few weeks so that I can have transportation to the hospital. Anyway, she fussed a little for her diaper change like she always does. Then I had to take her outfit off to weigh her. Well she just fell apart. It took awhile (probably only about 5 minutes but seemed like forever) to get her calmed down and then she nursed a little bit. I tired to put her outfit back on before she ate but she was not having that so we didn't worry about it til her tummy was full and she was relaxed.
So I haven't really written much about her birth. It was fast. They started me on pitocin a little after 6a.m. I started having some contractions but couldn't feel a thing. Finally at 10 a.m. they really started going and that's when my doula stepped in and saved the day. The nurses were great. They let me sit in a rocking chair, stand up by the bed, sit in the bed, whatever I needed to do. The first two hours I was able to focus and get through the pain pretty well. At 12 the nurse checked me and I was dialated to a 6. I was excited but I knew the worst part was coming. Shortly after that the contractions got more painful than anything I have ever experienced. It was pretty crazy. Aaron said that he just kept wanting to tell someone to just give me something for the pain but he didn't say anything because he knew that's not what I wanted. Finally when I started saying I couldn't take it anymore I was at about a 9. They kept telling me that I was almost there and it was going to be soon. I have to say the last 45 mintues of labor felt like hours, but they were right. I got ready to push a little after 1 and pushed for 12 minutes and our beautiful baby girl was born. I now believe in love at first sight. When they showed her to me all covered in nasty gunk I thought she was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Later when I went to NICU to see her and the doctors started telling us all the different things they were testing for and ruling out it was really hard. I didn't know yet that she couldn't get her knees out of the sitting position so that was really hard to, but it did not change one bit how beautiful and precious I thought she was. I have to admit that the next day I cried a lot about her condition. I really had hoped that the mobility of her legs wouldn't be such and issue and that what the doctor was seeing on the sonogram was wrong. But as the day went by and each day we've had her I have been able to handle that better. I hate that she will have to go through all this therapy and surgery and sometimes I still cry thinking about it, but I just try to take each day one day at a time and enjoy every little thing about her for the day that we have. Yesterday Aaron and I went to our sunday school before going to the hospital. We read the verse about the man who was born blind and the people asked Jesus, "Who sinned that this man was born blind? Him or his parents?" Jesus said, "Neither sinned. This man was born blind so that God could be glorified." This verse was just what I need to hear. It is hard not to feel like maybe I did something that caused her to be this way, but as far as medical knowledge about her condition goes, there is nothing I did except that perhaps my womb was too small, which is something that I can't control. As we read this verse I felt like God was speaking directly to me to let me know that he was going to do great things through Maddy. I know God has a special purpose for our little girl. Please pray this week for strength for us as we go back and forth to the hospital and pray that Maddy will get better and better at eating. I can't tell everyone how much we have appreciated all the support we've had this week--meals everyday, people bringing us lunch at the hospital, prayers, emails, phone calls, vehicles. God is taking care of us through you.
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